نحوه پارافریز در رایتینگ آیلتس Paraphrase

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1. Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians, while
   others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources

   سلام جمله ی بالا رو به صورت زیر پارافریز کردم به نظرتون خوبه؟

   many people believe that the creative artist،for example painters and musicians، ought to support by government.on the other hand ،some individuals argue that it can be provide by other sources